Side note: I am listening to the free 48-hour stream of Brian and Jenn Johnson's new album After All These Years......oh boy. Worth the purchase when it's available.
But here we are, you and me. I like to think of these moments as sacred because I believe He can be with us together even if we are on different sides of a screen. The words I let my eyes read are sacred. I try not to read too much 'you should' stuff unless I feel momentum behind it. Otherwise we are all scrambling and frantic in the head with our internal lists of must-do-self-improvements: senseless noise.
But I do have one thing I think you should do:
Find out who you are.
If you have chosen to believe that the Gospel is real and it is for you, then you are His. First answer layer of the answer. But there is more.
Most of us believe that there are things we were created to do. Roles we were created to fill. Art we were create to create. Work we were created to put our hands to. And it is possible to do the top layers of those things without truly having an answer to the question 'who are you?'.
So, Christian isn't enough. Mom isn't enough. Wife isn't enough. Accountant isn't enough. Doctor isn't enough. Teacher isn't enough. They are all worthy but they are all facets of what He calls you to. They do not answer - who are you.
What I am saying is that He is THE CREATOR. THE Creator. The Author of all creation. I believe that. So don't dumb down His creation in you by simplifying it.
Have you heard people say, 'what you do is not who you are.'? Me too. One of my pet peeves is big concept phrases with no discussion about the gritty of how. It's a concept that rings true....but dangit if that isn't a tough one to apply.
The truth is that when we have even beginning answers to who we were created to be, the way we do the work in front of us changes. Whether it be a sole focus on raising children, leading an organization, teaching a group of people, spinning pottery, writing words for others to read, or giving medical care to those who come to the E.R., pursue the answer my friends. Who are you?
I can't give you a step-by-step path to walk. OH HOW I WISH I COULD! Could someone send that my way?!
But what I can tell you is what I do know: it requires an uncomfortable amount of quietness. If you want to start the pursuit of the Answer, start pushing noise out of your soul. Because who you are and who you are meant to be - it's an answer that's already been woven into you. The answer isn't going to be created, it already exists. The words have already been spoken. You can probably sense its presence. It's a matter of being quiet enough to see it and hear it.
So, what is between your big conscious thoughts and the Truth that is woven into the deepest part of you?
And what is the biggest source of noise between the head and the heart?
So, quietness in a place that allows layers of fear, doubt, other's voices and paths that you are nearly addicted to comparing yourself to, untruths you believe to be peeled back and off. He does very good work. He knows exactly where the answer is and He knows how to get you there.
You are art. You are intricate. You are woven together wonderfully. You are a creation. You're not more special than any other creation....but you're certainly not simple.
Deep breath in and out. There is tension in this isn't it? It is beautiful but it is tense. This pursuit of truth requires you to acknowledge layers between the head and the heart that are easier left tucked away. Who, in their right mind, wants to sit in the same (small) room with their fears? Only those who are ready enough to let them come up so that freedom and healing can come.
He is much much better and getting you to the place of answers than I am.
But, here are some questions that you can ask that will at least help you climb the ladder....walk to the edge and feel your toes curl over the end of the diving board. He alone can lure you off the board and into the water.
- Do I know how to be quiet with myself and with you?
- Can you show me practical ways to be quiet with you?
- What things are creating noise that distract my ears? (It's often not big bad things, but good things)
- Would you lead me in this? Would You show me who I am? Show me how to pursue.
I'm in it with you! My heart soars at the thought of you and me opening up to Him in brand new ways!
And so, that's what I think you should do. I really do.
Honest Abi and my just-do-it-face