Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Waiting Game

Tonight my fingers wanted to type, so here I sit. I wonder how your evening has been. I wonder if today has been good, okay, surprising, tough....

When I was growing up - my mom and I would have late night hot chocolate made with milk (never water) and topped with marshmallow cream (the only truly wonderful form of the fluffy white sweet goodness) if we couldn't sleep. A perfectly wonderful solution to most any problem if you ask me :)

So - in my dreams I have that cup in my hands and you have your's (my actual cup will have to wait until a few more of these "baby weight" pounds disappear). But still - you get the picture.

Tonight - I am on the brink of Wednesday. And Wednesdays have become one of my very favorite days of the week. You see, Wednesdays bring me a bright and early 3 mile jog before the sun rises with my brother and a friend. What ensues after that is something of a mad-dash as I get myself showered and as dressed as possible - get Liam up - and get us out the door to Mimi's house. Mimi has so sweetly offered to have some Liam time so that I can dash to a Weight Watchers meeting and then to Bible study at my church. We get to hang out and have lunch at her house afterwards and then head home for an afternoon nap for him and a house tidy up job for me. Small group meets at our house Wednesdays nights. Whew! That is one crazy day.

But. Each of these activities seemed far off and even unattainable just a short while ago.

Just a few years ago - I was not only not a runner - I was not an exerciser at all: nada.

Just a few years ago - getting to go to Bible study seemed like a 'someday maybe' dream as I balanced working full time and other commitments. In fact, for a significant season, I was the one working while Zion sought after the next step in his career. If the girl I was then could see me now....

Just a few years ago - my heart ached (understatement) to become a mama and start expanding our family. In so many ways, I had to lay that dream down because it just wasn't time yet - and I really didn't know when the time would be.

Just a few years ago - we were in a spot where we truly wanted community but it just wasn't clicking. No matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard we prayed. It just wasn't time.

In the Old Testament - people often made a memorial to God out of stones to remind not only themselves - but the generations to come - of what God did. So that they wouldn't forget. Tonight, I don't want to forget. In so many ways - it seems like our waiting game was long and longer and longest at times. Often, it felt like every desire of our hearts was asked to wait. Not for a few weeks - but for years.

But sister (and brother if you're reading this Zion lol), I'm here to tell you that He moves on our behalf. That the waiting is worth it. That when the time comes - he hastens. That not quitting life and not hardening your heart - matters. That asking Him for joy in the waiting is one of the most beautiful things.

So I'm not sure what you're waiting for right now, but you're seen. You're not forgotten. You're loved. Don't focus on how much longer you may have to wait and therefore panic as to whether or not you can literally make it. Focus on today and look for the provisions He is offering in this little moment.

And go to the iTunes store or Spotify and search for "What A Difference A Day Makes" by Frank Sinatra. Do it. Because it's a good reminder - it can all change in one single day.

Sweet dreams.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Fancy Friday!

I can't help but feel a different vibe on Fridays. Even though I'm no longer at my desk in the office first thing in the mornings - I still feel the ever-welcome Friday arrival and relax a bit. Lest you think otherwise due to the title of the post - I am anything but fancy at the moment....however I do have a fancy feeling deep down...because it's Friday, you see!

I sat down to write - not knowing where this one was going - but just kind of willing to see what words came out when I started typing. :) Because it's Friday, you see!

So here are my musings as of late:

Change. Change. Change. Change. Change. And then you take a five minute break and tackle a tad bit more change. Changing who I am, what I do, how I think, how I spend time: change. Thankfully, I am not alone and I'm even getting into my change groove. We're in flux baby!

I'm doing the Beth Moore Bible study - 'Living Beyond Yourself.' May I just say - she dropped a one liner on Wednesday that is still reverberating inside of me: "All we need to create an environment for rejection is relationship." Everyone experiences rejection in life and I am humbly thankful to say that God has dealt with rejection in me a good deal and has healed my heart in ways only He could. But the true mark of freedom and healing must be the capacity to jump back into relationship - where we know it will inevitably happen again. We know we can jump back in though, because He's there and what is to be gained is so much greater than the risk of being hurt.

You know what I savor on Fridays? A mocha from Nordaggios. Know what makes a good mocha? The oh-so-perfect balance in the sweet of the dark chocolate and the bitter of the espresso. Nords does mocha well my friends. I have really cut back on my coffee stops during the week and opted for lattes at home - but on Fridays - Nords and I have a standing date.

Did I mention I have a thirteen month old now? How did that happen??? Big boy is on his way and he'd prefer that I keep up. He loves to laugh and I love it when he laughs. He loves to dance and I love it when he dances. He loves to practice demonstrating his will and I cannot say that I love that! LOL. Parenting is not for the weak! But I must say it is amazing to see the fruit of correction and guidance even at thirteen months old. Those little eyes tell me he's testing me and that little heart quietly whispers how much he craves the boundary that helps him know he's okay because I truly am the mama - and I'll take care of him.

Are you getting the fall fever? Before long I may have to start throwing a chai into my Friday mix!

I'm trying a new recipe today: Balsamic Chicken. The beauty is that it is a crock-pot recipe! I am going to add portabello mushrooms and perhaps some black olives and serve it over angel hair pasta. Can't wait!

Hope you have a really beautiful weekend and that you find the grace you need to move forward in whatever way you need to!

Love y'all,

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Liam's First Birthday Party

Ahhhhh the first birthday party. I so wanted his party to be special and a wonderful celebration, but simple. I knew that I didn't want to blow a wad o'cash. But, didn't want to scrap a few fun details in the mix as well. So - here's what we got: Liam's Lion Party.

The choice to have a family-only party was a good one because the house was packed! Mercy!

You know what took me by surprise? The way my heart felt when I woke up on his birthday. All of the sudden I have a new favorite day of the year. There was something almost sacred about it. I wanted to giggle, gallop (it's true), dance and cry all at once. Am I a crazy mama or what??? I could not wait to get that party started. My heart was bursting with excitement even though I FULLY realized he would never remember a second of the celebration.

I'll let the pictures tell the story...for the most part lol.

So much fun with family, cake, and lots of love!