Don't you hate the compare and contrast game??? Everyone battles against it - some of us battle harder than others! So a lot of my friends who are mommies blog about their babies and their mommyworlds. And I read every sentence of every post. Seriously - I love them. I have always been nosy and therefore personal blogs just fill me up on the little fun details of friends and even just aquaintances lives.
So WHY OH WHY do I come up against such a wall when it comes to blogging about a certain little man and my life these days???? I love reading about the minute - even boring - details of other's lives but can't seem to bring myself to blog about ins and outs of what's going in this life of mine? Talk about a quirk!
Maybe it's because when I started this blog I was already pregnant but set out to not just make it a pregnancy update blog. I limited myself to one baby blog update a month and tried to throw in posts on other heart or life issues. Maybe that was because I knew what it was like to have to wait to be a mommy when it had been my heart's desire since I was little? I knew what it was to listen to people incessantly talk about pregnancy or their babies and at the same time stamp down thoughts like 'what if that never happens for me?' Not saying that my thoughts were right on....it's just where they were.
Now it's the same thing with my bubby. If I was transparent - I would say that I feel like I am living the best dream ever. That I love being a mama more than I could ever even imagined. That this little man has ushered in a joy unspeakable into our lives. That I am pretty much obsessed with him. LOL.
Here's the deal. I think what irritates me is when people talk about their pregnancy/life/mommy/baby experiences as if we all find it to be the MOST important information in the world. As if their pregnancy is unique and we all need to know all of the details. Basically - as if the world revolves around their experience. You know what I am talking about!
The truth is that most pregnant girls feel like everything they experience is uniquely wonderful. It's a feeling every expectant mama has - myself included. What I realized while being pregnant is that there is simply nothing unique about being pregnant. Again - not saying that I am right about all of this....these are just my weird little thoughts.
I came to embrace the sacredness of pregnancy instead of the uniqueness of it. Which is why the word 'preggers' or 'preggo' never escaped my lips. Perhaps I am overly sensitive to those who are waiting on the desires of their hearts to be fulfilled - but preggers and prego make pregnancy sound the latest fad that you simply must try dahling. Fahhhhhbulous. It brings pregancy to the level of something cutesy that everyone's doing. I would venture to say that any precious heart of a girl who would love nothing more than to be married or carrying a sacred life in her belly (but for whatever reason isn't yet) isn't a fan of the words preggers or preggo either.
You didn't ask for this rant did you????? LOL. I am going somewhere with this!
Having said ALL OF THAT! Geesh! I came to also realize that my sweet baby Liam deserved my joy and celebration - even publicly - even if it touched on tender places in the hearts of those who were waiting.
Which brings me to my current post title 'mommyworld.' How silly is it that I am not really blogging about his sweet life and little moments because I don't want to come off as bragadocious or flaunting?
So here I am. A mama in love with a precious boy. Thankful to God for bringing fulfillment to the desires of my heart. And willing to give this blogging thing a refreshed effort. Wanting to share more of his life and my new life in a new role. And trusting that God knows the desires of my heart to find that happy balance of celebrating but not assuming that my favorite topic is your's too lol.
Bare with me as I figure out what works for me!