My brain is tired today...maybe it's the small man-child I'm providing housing for in my middle or perhaps it's the five hours of sleep I got last night. Mmmmmmm last night. Let me tell you - what happened last night couldn't have given us a better back drop for this last post on girlfriending.
College brought me some of the dearest girlfriends. The dearest. For quite a few years after college we were so good at getting everyone together for a weekend once a year. Here'a pic from one of those weekends - five years ago.
Last night, we were all together again. It had been quite a few years since we had all gotten together! I may be wrong, but I think it had been four years since all of us were in the same place at once. I wish I had the group pic on my camera but we used another camera. Pic to come later :). Here's a few shots of us last night:
Now first, I should say - these were pretty random shots. Perhaps not our most flattering moments....but still a moment to treasure.
Last night reminded me so clearly of one of the most important things I've learned in girlfriending: It's never too late to reach out.
In this case, we hadn't lost touch, it was just that we hadn't been able to make a face-to-face reunion happen. But then Heather emailed and said 'We're having dinner! Get here.' So we got there. And just like that - the four years disappeared as if it had only been two weeks since we had last been together. Heather hosted us in her delightful abode with a delicious meal....and then to top it all off she prompted each of us to share updates of our lives as they really are - the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty. All it took was a bee in Heather's bonnet and we were back in our groove. We spent three hours sharing life stories together in honesty, tears and laughter. It just took a Heather.
It just took a Heather.
Those moments are actually some of the most pivotal in whether or not girlfriends make it the distance. There are some friendships that are meant for a season and it's maturity to know how to identify those and graciously let life happen when the season is over. But there are many that may not work in one season, but are a true delight when they are rekindled in the next. One of the biggest lessons I have learned in girlfriending is to trust your ponderings.
If it's been a few years, a few months, many years, or many months, but all of the sudden you find yourself thinking about her, do something! Text her, call her, email her, do something. It doesn't mean you're signing up for starting to get together every week....it means the connection is worth rekindling and even a small amount of reconnecting may be all that's it's about.
Be the big girl. Be the one who's willing to reach out. Be the one who's willing to apologize. Be the one who's willing to say 'come to my house!' Or - as I have learned over and over again - be the one who's willing to drive four hours to her city just to get some face-to-face time. Be the one! I can guarantee you - you will reap what you sow. Or should that be 'what you sew?' LOL! I'm going to stick with my original 'sow.' But just know - that I know I may be wrong :).
As wives, daughters, moms, aunts, friends, etc. I'm not suggesting that our lives be driven by girlfriending. In fact, we all know that there comes a point where too much of a good thing is just too much. BUT I am suggesting that there's a time to sacrifice for it. There comes a time to make it a priority. There comes a time to go the extra mile. There comes a time to say 'Okay, it's been too long and I am thinking about you and I will be the one to break the silence and jump back in.' There comes a time.
Friends, your time spent reading these words humbles me. I am so relieved to get this series off of my chest and onto the screen. I hope to revisit these posts over time because I am fairly certain most of these thoughts have been half-baked at best. Hopefully I will continue to learn and be taught and will be able to come back to revise some of these concepts as they mature inside of me.
In closing, may I take a moment to encourage you?
I encourage you that healthy girlfriending is something that God does have for you.
I encourage you to take heart and have courage if the point of all of this is that He wants to bring out more health in you before healthy girlfriending becomes a big part of your life. It will be worth the journey, I assure you.
I encourage you that you can change.
I encourage you that He wants to keep teaching you and He wants to keep teaching me how to have His heart in girlfriending. The more in touch we are with His heart, the better these girlfriend things go.
And finally, I encourage you to take a step. I encourage you to open yourself up when you see signs of health in someone else. I encourage you to be the kind of girl/woman who makes others comfortable in their own skin. I encourage you to be one who speaks life and calls out life in others.
Girlfriending is one of God's sweetest, most challening, and most rewarding gifts to us. Let's have the humility to say that there IS a lot to learn about healthy girlfriending. And let's jump onto that road of continued learning together.
May your weekend be full of grace and encouragement!
Lots of love,
Abi
Oh, groups like these are the best! I have a group of 7 girlfriends and we take a trip together every year. There isn't much that could keep me from making that trip every year! I love those girls so much. Sounds a lot like your group!
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