I've been mulling this one in my heart this week. The topic of grace. More specifically, what a huge difference a little switch of perspective makes when grace is in the picture. Wouldn't you know this very morning I needed the reminder just as much as anyone else! I'm so thankful that this pregnancy with our second little boy has been smooth, he is healthy, and any symptoms I deal with are minimal. But you know what I do consistently get? SO. MANY. DREAMS. Lots more than I had with Liam. Mostly they are just weird and long. But sometimes they veer into disturbing. And those seem to last as long as I will let them. If I wake up from it (even praying) and lay there for a few minutes and then go back to sleep the dream will start right where it left off when I woke up. I'm trying to remember to pray and invite the Lord to come right before I go to sleep...sometimes I'm too tired and I just fall into bed, forgetting all else, and go to sleep instantly. They have gotten better but I do need to get a little more serious about praying over my sleep.
Well, this morning was no exception. The dream had something to do with drowning on a plane (good grief!) and I consciously decided to wake myself up because frankly, how ridiculous is that? I was not going to deal with it. I knew when I woke myself up that it likely meant I'd be awake from 3:30 in the morning on....another pregnancy deal - hard to get back to sleep once woken. But this morning, I didn't care because I'd much rather be awake than be partnering with fear. By no means am I presenting a theory of how to handle bad dreams! It was just what I felt grace for this morning.
So I stumbled into the living room, flipped on the lamp, and thought to myself - 'considering what I want to write about today - this is just about right!' I found my Bible, which looked like this:
Life with boys!
I started reading some and then shifted my focus to my heart focus today: grace.
A few weeks ago, I started thinking a lot more about it. Even at one child to care for, there are more moments than I can count where I feel beyond weak. When a circumstance hits me in the face that just sucks any energy I had left right out of me. When my body says - 'No more! You can't do more!'. The moments certainly come during our days but they seem to be particularly loud when they come in the middle of the night!
Sleeping consistently has been hard to come by with this pregnancy so when Liam needs me during the middle of the night - well I will give you one guess as to what my heart attitude looks like. Ha! Cue thoughts like "I simply can't do this." "We have such a big day tomorrow and now I am going to be even more tired." "This isn't fair." Or just cue the anger. LOL! I hope you can relate. Or perhaps you're the mom that delights in the middle of the night interactions? I'm her sometimes :).
But one night/morning/who knows really a few weeks ago, the Lord cut off my frustrated and depleted thoughts with a simple but strong statement.
"Abi, there's grace for you."
Huh? That stopped me cold.
Is it really that simple? A simple switch of perspective? A quick acknowledgement that I'm REALLY not alone? That He knows? That He is there to help? That simple, huh?
I think it is. Immediately my heart warmed and I felt the support of his grace upon those words. The victim thoughts were drowned out by the realization that I could lean into his grace and it would be more than enough for me and more than enough for my man and my little. I'm a visual person and this picture of a big puddle of water (grace) that I can choose to step into keeps coming back to me. It's right there. Always ready for me to step into.
Merriam Webster....those guys are smart. I like them. So I asked them what grace was. Two different definitions stood out:
1. Unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification. Divine assistance that is unmerited???? Yes and amen, sister!
2. Skills that are needed for behaving in a polite way in social situations. At first I glossed over this one but then I laughed and came back to it because I can use a WHOLE LOT OF THIS after not sleeping well!
2 Corinthians 12:9
"But he said to me, 'MY grace is sufficient for you, for MY power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest up on me."
Oh man. Can I get that on auto-repeat looping through me all day long?
There is grace for you, Mama! There is grace for you. It is there. Your weakness is okay because His strength is just aching to take over. You don't have to be frustrated at how much is pulled from you and asked of you all day long because He wants to flood in and fill you. And apparently we can even have skills needed for behaving in a polite way in social situations! Praises.
This pic was taken after Liam and I landed at Double Shot this Tuesday.
It had been QUITE the morning of nothing but rush. But there was grace. He reminded me again and again that I didn't have to pick up the hard because his grace was there.
As we celebrate being mommies and those who are our mommies this weekend - let us remember grace. It's a game changer.
Happy weekending y'all!
Abi
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