Mommyworld

Don't you hate the compare and contrast game??? Everyone battles against it - some of us battle harder than others! So a lot of my friends who are mommies blog about their babies and their mommyworlds. And I read every sentence of every post. Seriously - I love them. I have always been nosy and therefore personal blogs just fill me up on the little fun details of friends and even just aquaintances lives.

So WHY OH WHY do I come up against such a wall when it comes to blogging about a certain little man and my life these days???? I love reading about the minute - even boring - details of other's lives but can't seem to bring myself to blog about ins and outs of what's going in this life of mine? Talk about a quirk!

Maybe it's because when I started this blog I was already pregnant but set out to not just make it a pregnancy update blog. I limited myself to one baby blog update a month and tried to throw in posts on other heart or life issues. Maybe that was because I knew what it was like to have to wait to be a mommy when it had been my heart's desire since I was little? I knew what it was to listen to people incessantly talk about pregnancy or their babies and at the same time stamp down thoughts like 'what if that never happens for me?' Not saying that my thoughts were right on....it's just where they were.

Now it's the same thing with my bubby. If I was transparent - I would say that I feel like I am living the best dream ever. That I love being a mama more than I could ever even imagined. That this little man has ushered in a joy unspeakable into our lives. That I am pretty much obsessed with him. LOL.

Here's the deal. I think what irritates me is when people talk about their pregnancy/life/mommy/baby experiences as if we all find it to be the MOST important information in the world. As if their pregnancy is unique and we all need to know all of the details. Basically - as if the world revolves around their experience. You know what I am talking about!

The truth is that most pregnant girls feel like everything they experience is uniquely wonderful. It's a feeling every expectant mama has - myself included. What I realized while being pregnant is that there is simply nothing unique about being pregnant. Again - not saying that I am right about all of this....these are just my weird little thoughts.

I came to embrace the sacredness of pregnancy instead of the uniqueness of it. Which is why the word 'preggers' or 'preggo' never escaped my lips. Perhaps I am overly sensitive to those who are waiting on the desires of their hearts to be fulfilled - but preggers and prego make pregnancy sound the latest fad that you simply must try dahling. Fahhhhhbulous. It brings pregancy to the level of something cutesy that everyone's doing. I would venture to say that any precious heart of a girl who would love nothing more than to be married or carrying a sacred life in her belly (but for whatever reason isn't yet) isn't a fan of the words preggers or preggo either.

You didn't ask for this rant did you????? LOL. I am going somewhere with this!

Having said ALL OF THAT! Geesh! I came to also realize that my sweet baby Liam deserved my joy and celebration - even publicly - even if it touched on tender places in the hearts of those who were waiting.

Which brings me to my current post title 'mommyworld.' How silly is it that I am not really blogging about his sweet life and little moments because I don't want to come off as bragadocious or flaunting?

So here I am. A mama in love with a precious boy. Thankful to God for bringing fulfillment to the desires of my heart. And willing to give this blogging thing a refreshed effort. Wanting to share more of his life and my new life in a new role. And trusting that God knows the desires of my heart to find that happy balance of celebrating but not assuming that my favorite topic is your's too lol.

Bare with me as I figure out what works for me!

Bite Size Bible Study: "I Will Be With You"

I haven't spent a lot of time in the Old Testament over the recent years. But as I was pondering where to jump in - the book of Joshua stood out to me...so I don't think about things too long. :) I just assume that's God and go for it. And God is a really good Leader isn't He? As we approach this new year what could be better that focusing on the themes of God's fulfilled promises to ineherit land and space?

Joshua 1:5 "Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you."

WHAT WORDS! What words. Just as I was with Moses....think about the intimacy of God's leadership with Moses as he led the Israelites. He spoke so cleary. He led so definitely. God interacted with Moses so closely so that Moses could rightly care for God's precious people.

Why can't I put my name in for Joshua's name? 'Abi - just as I was with Moses, I am going to be with you in 2012.' I don't think that's too risky of a theological gamble.

So - what if my expectation of the Lord 'being with me' went up? What if I look for Him more? What if I quiet my heart to hear Him speak more because I KNOW He is ready to lead me? What if I trust Him more?

I don't know about you but I have this stirring in my heart that 2012 is going to be a big and important year. Today, my heart is singing with the renewed reality that my God is with me.

We just celebrated Christmas - our Emanuel God. God with us. He gave and He came to literally be with us. There is no greater intimacy and there is no sweeter invitation to relationship!

Joshua 1:5 "Just as I was with Moses, I will be with you (insert your name here)." Let that ring over and over in your ears today!

Love y'all,
Abi

Bite Size Bible Study: Don't Be Afraid

I have been having this phrase 'bite size Bible study' rolling around inside of me for a while. It's not that all we need is just a bite of truth. It's not that five minutes is the grand goal of time with the Lord.

But - it IS that sometimes what I really need is one bite. One thought. One message to chew chew chew on all day. One direction to point my heart towards as I put my Bible down. Sometimes my brain is just too scattered to go in many directions and I am called back to the simplicity of the moment in God.

So, how about a quick Bite Size Bible Study my friend?

Here's what I read this morning:

Luke 1:13 "But the angel said, 'Don't be afraid Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John.' "

Two things - don't be afraid (insert your name here) and God HAS heard your prayer. Oh man don't those two things go hand in hand? If I was truly confident that God has heard my prayers, my cries, my whispers - then why would I ever have need of being afraid???

Granted - this portion of Scripture is truly referring to Zechariah's fear of seeing Gabriel - a mighty angel - right in front of his very eyes. But as I read it this morning, I could hear the Spirit of God just saying 'This is for you. Don't be afraid my girl because I HAVE heard your prayer.'

If you read on in the chapter - it goes on to detail God's answered prayer for John and Elizabeth of a son. And boy oh boy - not just any son. Did their waiting pay off? Yes, yes it did. Did God honor their decision to wait and trust and not turn their hearts off to Him in the meantime? Yes, yes He did.

So, today friend - don't be afraid. God hears you. And the wait will be worth it.

Love y'all,
Abi

Pinterest Fail

Ahhhh Pinterest. Thanks to my girl Kelsey I took the Pinterest plunge a few months ago. Ummmm hello huge new part of my world. Is it not crazy how such a simple idea and platform can make such a big splash?

I am not the world's craftiest girl. Mind you - this is mostly due to my choice more than anything. Typically, I'd rather spend my time having coffee with a friend, going on a walk with Liam and Zion, etc. than knitting or spending hours making crafts. However. That was before Pinterest. Now all of the sudden I have this little fire inside of me to try my hand at a few things! I did make a t-shirt scarf inspired by P. and with the help of some friends it turned out well!

One of the parts I love is all of the new recipes. It's just nice to get new ideas! So I tried my first Pinterest meal last night. Overnight chicken with balsamic roasted carrots. I loved the marinade for the chicken but it called for it to be cooked too long in my opinion so that recipe gets a 'B' as is. And the balsamic roasted carrots needed oomph and could have used more balsamic so those also get a 'B.' Now I love trying new recipes. But I only repeat if we truly love something. I didn't love either of these....and thus the title of the article.

Are you pinning?

I wonder what is on your Pinterest crafting to-do list....

For me, I would like to make at least one Christmas decor craft this year and I saw a really cute brown onesie with the turkey face on the front and the turkey feathers on the back. Cute!

And I have already decided that Cranberry Salsa will be made as a Thanksgiving appetizer in a few weeks - it looks amazing! And then....there are all of those Christmas cookie recipes!

For now, I am enjoying having my creativity sparked and stirred. I'd LOVE to know what you've got your eye on!

Love y'all,
Abi

I'm Still Here

Helllllllllo. WHEW! Has it ever been a long time since my last post! I have thought of this post so many times - and my brain tries and tries to figure out a direction or witty perspective for my little bloggy update. Needless to say - a funny spin escapes me so here's a plain-old life update!

Thankfulness fills my heart more each day. I think that part of the reason I have put off this blog is that I KNOW I am going to sound unbearably cheesy, abolsutely over the moon, and perhaps a smidge annoying in tone. But - what can I do? Just jump in and trust you won't read if you don't want to lol!!!

I cannot really find words but I am one happy girl. I have wanted to be a mom since I was little. Baby dolls were my world and babysitting eventually became my joy. I dreamed of becoming a mom and imagined it over and over again. The desire never left me. Not for one second. But - life drew my focus to other areas over time. It is so weird because since we've had Liam, I actually feel a little more like my teenage self than anything else! When a desire has to go into pause mode, you just let it hibernate deep down inside and that's okay. But ohhhhhhhh my. I feel like my heart is about to explode with joy, deep satisfaction, and thankfulness.

We've just been getting into our groove over the past months. Speaking of months - Liam was THREE MONTHS on November 4!!! Crazy and wonderful. This child is one special boy. What momma doesn't feel that way though??? LOL. His personality is coming out and he is sweet down to his core and fun fun fun. He's verbal, strong as an ox, and observative. He's just beginning to laugh and we are in the very early stages of it but I can't say how much I love it.

I won't say much on it but we took a class called 'Preparation for Parenting' by Growing Kids God's Way. The book 'Babywise' is by the same authors/teachers and it's the same material just with Christ-centered elements mixed in. I know a lot of people feel strongly for or against it and I respect each momma's persepctive. But let me just say - I think I am able to love this experience a heck of a lot more because I am sleeping through the night and have been for a while. Rested momma = better momma. Rested baby = happy baby. I strongly recommend the parenting method from everything I have seen so far! If you want a crash course or are just curious - check out www.babywisemom.com. That's a blog that a mom started and it has SO MUCH helpful information on it!

Liam has been big and strong from the time he was born and the pattern continues my friends. He looks like a big boy now! He's definitely past the infant stage. He's as long as many babies a few months older than him and he - well he weighs as much as many of them do too lol. I am thankful he's a good nurser but whew! We are almost ready for 6 month clothing and he's 3 months old! I love every inch of that boy though.

Despite all of the happiness, my personal hygiene and style has taken a deep dive! If I get myself showered and dressed beyond sweats, I consider myself quite accomplished. Of course, the extra love pounds I am currently carrying since da bubby made his arrival make putting an outfit together interesting. I am happy to say that I am not beating myself up over the weight that needs to be lost though! Let's be honest. I had a real good time while pregnant when it came to food. And I don't regret it at all! So - I'll be patient and work it off bit by bit now. Mom and I started Weight Watchers last week - they have a nursing moms program and I'm a believer! (side note - I do think I'll at least attempt gaining a tad less next time round :)

So here's to getting back to the new normal in life! We are still figuring things out but it's cool. Some days are more sane and calm than others but all in all - gratitude fills my heart. Hope each of you are doing well! Happy fall y'all!!!

Love y'all,
Abi

Transformation

Maybe someday I will again write about something non-new-mommy related on this blog. :) Who knows! When I started the blog, the goal was to talk about all things life. That's still the goal but right now my life is fairly consumed with one little man named Liam. And I am loving it!

Five weeks ago my life turned into the most glorious upside down state. But transition is always 'something' isn't it? I became a momma in an instat on August 4 but my heart has melted and molded into this new role bit by bit - diaper by diaper - and non-showered day by non-showered day. Those first few weeks were precious and hard all at the same time. Talk about shock to the system! I remember feeling pretty trapped in my house and more specifically - in one chair that I did most of the early nursing in. I felt like my life would never extend beyond that chair lol!

But then those hormones began to slowly stabilize and I could see and feel that little boy more each day. I loved him so much but I remember feeling so weird knowing that I was smack dab between two identities. Not who I used to be but totally unsure of who the new mommy-me was or was supposed to be. Of course, I am sure that in five more weeks I'll have an even deeper understanding of my new life.

He has started cooing and smiling at me. He snuggles into my neck for an occasional nap in the most delicious way. He studies the world around him with such focus. He already adores Daddy. And he made me a mom - a long-held dream come true.

It's so crazy to feel all of the instincts come to life without really trying to make them do that. Each week I feel more and more in touch with my role and the love grows when it seems impossible for it to grow any more.

Have I gushed enough? LOL. I see the words that I type and I am - uh - a little astonished. :) I have never been much of a gusher and I never saw that coming. But I am so beyond caring how it sounds at this point. This is a new season to say the least. I turn 30 next month and I say bring it on. God give me grace to transition and to love the way You love.

Love y'all,
Abi

Two People

There are two people who have made this whole transition possible for me without losing my mind. And honestly - they just deserve a blog post. They deserve so much more than a blog post!

The first is Mr. Zion Spencer. I just love him. From the beginning of labor - he was right there and never disengaged. I honestly think that's saying a lot. It was a long day and it was a hard day in many ways. We started at 3:30 am on August 3 getting ready to go to the hospital and finally put our heads down to sleep around 3:00 am on August 4.

Because of the cessarean, my capacities were limited from the very beginning. Let's just say that nursing was nothing less than a two person job! I couldn't get out of bed without huge effort so he was up and down getting baby boy with each feeding - changing every single diaper and tracking every feeding and the 'contents' of each diaper. From the beginning, Zion oozed love for Liam. And THAT - melted my heart.

When we came home - his help continued. It was really nice that he was able to have time off of work to be with us in that first week. What's more - he handled my very very raw emotional state like a champion. He saw more crying from me in two weeks time than perhaps the whole of our marriage! Lots of hugs and taking me out for our first post-baby coffee date meant so much to me. It's so frustrating to feel like your emotions are out of control and receiving so much grace and support from Zion made it a bit easier.

Last night Zion got back from a short work trip. Watching him love on Liam after a few days away was precious.

Check out this pic. One morning I had ventured to the bathroom for a shower and came out to see that they had brough Liam to us while I was showering. Zion was so tired that they had a hard time waking him up. :) So - they got him awake enough and then just put little Liam in his arms. And this is what I came out to: LOVE.



Meet person number two: my momma. I seriously don't know what I would have done without this woman. She helped me in the hospital but she had no idea what she was in for once we came home!!! LOL. She came each day to help me learn how to take care of Liam. And man alive - what a learning curve it has been. Not only has she offered me her base of experience - she helped me figure out each little hiccup we encountered over the first two weeks of Liam's life. INCLUDING - answering a call from me at 3am last week when Liam all of the sudden refused to breast feed and was screaming. I was crying, Liam was screaming, and here came Mom driving over to our house at 3:30am in her robe. She wasn't sure what she would do when she got to us - but she came. We eventually figured out I was dealing with engorgement. She stayed overnight with me for the following two nights until we got it worked out - she would get me hot compresses before each feeding and made me tea to go with it.

She has given me worlds of perspective on what is normal and has kept encouraging me that I was doing great and that Liam is doing great. Sometimes that's just what you need to hear when it seems like you have zero idea what you are doing and you have no real idea what is normal for a newborn.



I am currently trying to tell myself that I can do this without her for small amounts of time during the day lol. She has given herself to us and I have loved and appreciated it more than I can say.

So many people in our family and friends have offered such great support and I appreciate every meal, encouraging text, and visit. It's just one of those times in life where the need is huge and every ounce of help means to the world.

I love you Zion and Mom and this one's for you two!